Side jokes
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
Why do people hate Velma now?
Because she joined the Dark Side.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around.
Why I turn around?
Infopka.com
So you mom call she side when Covin come home?
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get the milk and to get to the dark side.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Why are female pornstars like Krispy Kreme donuts?
Because they get glazed on both sides.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
Health commercials be like:
Serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!