I really hate waiting to die..... Its taking a lifetime
A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu
How do computers get drunk
They take a screenshot
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
so two condoms walk by a gay bar, what does one condom say to the other, "hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes? Family comes first
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say "where are your parents?" the kid says "What are parents?
i saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' tshirt so i said "286lb"
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
What happed when the emo went through the self checkout two beeps went off.
you so flat you make pancakes look thiccc
today, i asked my phone, "siri why am i still single" and it activated the front camera
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
I wish my dad was home I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
