Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
Short Jokes
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
I asked my girlfriend if we could try my rape fantasy last night. She said no. It was the best night of my life.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.
Lying bastard never came out.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
The happier they get, the less they see.
