Short jokes

911 jokes usually go over my head.

Then it hits me.

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"

I said, "Sexy."

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.

You wanna know why I love trains?

They end my suffering.

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong.

Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.

Walked in to a gun store, everything was half off.

I didn't know back-to-school shopping started.

Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.

I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

What do you call an Asian receptionist?

Tai Ping.

Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?

To see who's hanging around.

Gays: "I like men."

Straight: "I like women."

Bisexual: "A hole is a hole."

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me when he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

Like it if you judge people's hairlines.