I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast
you wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "a refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it"
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
How did a blonde commit suicide
She jumped from the basement window
what do you call a sad cup of coffee? Answer: Depresso
having sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels
what's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
a frog in a blender
Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a Hit and Can't Run?
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression. At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand up.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve
i have a stepladder. my real ladder left for milk and never came back.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner So he says fruit ninja with his wrists
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash." Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔
A child with cancer: I want to be like you when I grow up. Doctor: Oh your not going to grow up.
