Short jokes
If I make a great joke, I will pay for it.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Candis.
Candis who?
Candis nuts fit in your mouth?
I have a 12-inch destroyer.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke.
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
Why do you stink?
Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
Hey dad, I'm hungry!
Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?