Short jokes
I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?
Because I am a bully!
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
When the school lets you near children again...
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.