Short jokes
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
What are Michael Jackson’s sexual pronouns? Hee hee!
An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!