Short jokes
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
Don't bully.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.