Short jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
Retards.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?