Short jokes
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
When the school lets you near children again...
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
Like this if you are in foster care.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
Uranus is huge.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.