Short jokes
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
Oofer.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.