Short jokes
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
Which country is next to the USA? USB.
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"
The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.