Short jokes
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
gae
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!