Short jokes
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
"Another one bites the dust."
TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.
I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World?
To free Willie.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.