Short jokes
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
Dark humour : hell!!! Aren't people racist!!!
Your fat!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck?
Incest.
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.