Short jokes
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
These Afghanistan people suck at Jenga.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Your forehead is so big I could sell advertising space by the mile on it.
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
You know who else has dementia?
Comments for answer.
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
So what does stress and energy mean?
Beer.
If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.
Yan nan ate my salty penis.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts