Short jokes
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.
Maybe I should call you Patrick Star, wanna know why?
Because you're fat, stupid, lazy and everyone laughs at you for it.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.
My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.