Short jokes
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
"Get a life, dum dums!"
Says the fucking moron.
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.
An orange jumpsuit that is :)
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.