Short jokes
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?
"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
When the moon hits the earth,
IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.
Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.