Short jokes
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"