Short jokes
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.