Short jokes
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
Me- *crying in the shower*
Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."