Short jokes
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Happy new year! 🥳
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
We don't read backwards.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.