Short jokes
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
Robert Scott is a NumNut.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
Muslim furries like goats.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What did the no head man say?
"Haha!"
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂