Short jokes

Short jokes

Grandma

The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Minefield

The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"

The dad: "Everywhere."

Dog

I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."

Nobody

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.

Friend

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

Suicide

When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.

Mum

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Woman

There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.