Short jokes

Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.

Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.

I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!

I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry.

Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.

I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.

How do you shut Helen Keller up?

You give her mittens.

Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.

What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂

Flippity floppity, women are property.

What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?

"That hit the spot?"

What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?

Brockoli.

I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know why.

If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!

What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.

How can you save a depressed person from a tree?

You cut the rope.

What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇