Short jokes
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
I suffered The Great Depression.