Short jokes
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅