Short jokes
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.