Short jokes
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
Depression hits harder than my dad.
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.