Short jokes
Spell "I C U P." I see you pee.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
Why did the clock go out to the gazebo? To spend some time out.
Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
What did the orphan say to the bowling ball?
"I am orphan!"
"You are bowling ball!"
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.