Short jokes
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
Depression hits harder than my dad.