Short jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
I hate myself.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.