Short jokes
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words...
"Lazy."
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.