Short jokes
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.