Short jokes
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Why do orphans get offended by dark humor?
It doesn’t hit home.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.