Short jokes

Short jokes

Doctor

My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."

I said, "You wanna bet?"

Bam, a gunshot!

Death

I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.

Brother

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!

Tomato

🧀: C’mon tomato!

🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

🧀: You’re a mile away.

🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

Suicide

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.

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  • Baby

    What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?

    One baby in three trashcans.

    Test

    Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.

    Friend: What were the tests about?

    Me: Japan.

    Baby

    What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

    Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.