Short jokes
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.