Short jokes
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
What were the twin towers plains?
God's playing Jenga.
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.