Short jokes
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.