Short jokes
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.