Short jokes
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
Vote for Kris!
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
Lorne Armstrong
Why can't orphans play catch?
Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
What do Doges like? Memes.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
Me, myself, and I.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
fdfds.
Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.
You blow a kiss up.
Your eyes were bright up your ass.
Legally Blonde.
What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.
Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.