Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
Short Jokes
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
