Short jokes
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
*insert pun here*
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
jkjkjhk
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
What is your car's name?
Your mom stinks.
That is my joke.
You mom doesn’t really stink.
I know I am stupid. 🤕
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're adopted!"
I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
What do you call an old snowman?
Answer: Water.
What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.