Short jokes
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!
What do people say when they're fighting?
"Water!"
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
Monky.
Damn, this new Angry Birds is fire!
I'm gonna cut my life off.
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!
My boner had better structural support than the Twin Towers.
Ii.
eeeeeee.
If you are homeless, get a home.
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.