Short jokes
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.
You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.
Why do duckies wipe after they poop?
Their butt quack.
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
Even your mother can never fix your hairline, just God.
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
What do you get when you cross between Tailga and emo?
Tailighmo.
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
Why do girls play handball? Because they want to feel balls.
But then why do boys want to? Oh...
You know who else has dementia?
Comments for answer.
Levi
Who jumps the highest?
The emos; some of them are still in the air.
Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
What's a name orphans hate to be called?
"Homie."
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.