Short jokes
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
Your mom is so fat, she played bowling with the planets.
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
Uranus is cold.
Yo Mamma's so ugly, she made One Direction turn into the other direction!
What kind of knickers is the best?
Windy knickers, because they're the best kind.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?
'Cause he had a screw loose!
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
Hey so I like orphan jokes, and some of them are fun, but I think that's engonp.
Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.