Short jokes
Boys eat Frito Bandito, but men eat Guido Bandito.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?
'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.
Pop-up. P
Why are orphans afraid of your orphanage?
Because I burnt it down!
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints.
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
No.
Yo momma so fat, she farts out volcanoes.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.