Short jokes
Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
I got some from suggestions, research, etc. etc. Just to illuminate you.
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
Baal jharne ke upay?
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
I just had sex.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
Oh, hail no!!!
Blueface baby!
It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Fuke
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!