I don’t love being bored.
Short Jokes
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.
I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...
What did Santa say to the rain? Go away!
Why are cows 🐮 so big? To scare babies 👶.
I love jokes!
I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
What’s the difference from me and a gay person? You.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What color is a burp?
Burple!
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
China is a place. I once went to Buckingham Palace.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
You're really special.
But the R in special is silent.
I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!
Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with a snowman?
FROSTY RHYMES!
Why don't rappers tell secrets?
Because they always spill the beats.