Short jokes
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
Sans: Why did the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Why?
Sans: 'Cause he was too fat and ugly!
Papyrus: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA LOLOL,OLOLOL
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
Louie being born.
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.
And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.