What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
Short Jokes
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"
Don't bully. Lol.
Borthwick's hairline.
Travis has baby hands.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
What is 2+2? Fish.
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
Penis.
High school is amazing. Like if you agree!