Short jokes
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!
The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!
He was a head of his class... Mom always says, "Stay ahead!"
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
Chi
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
Screw you, ableists!
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.
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I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."