Short jokes
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
Where is the pocket?
It is there, the pocket.
Diarrhea.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
Kid: βWhat happened to Dad?β
Mom: βHe flew into the Twin Towers.β
Why are hill billies so weird? Because their name is Billy.
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
"Penis equals power, pussy equals wussy."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
"Ayo, Lynx, where you at?"
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.