Short jokes
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
RIP K.
When they have a party, they're racist. When they hang out with Ys, they're mean.
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.