Short jokes
I wish I was blind.
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
How do you poop?
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?
Shell shock!