Short jokes
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
мy naмe ιѕ jeғғ.
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
What do you call a white girl at Starbucks?
At home.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
My life.
Hmmm.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!