Short jokes

Short jokes

Autism

Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?

Teacher: What?

Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.

Baby

What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?

Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...

Autism

Why do people think Mozart was autistic?

Because he was probably retarded.

  • 1
  • Cop

    What do retarded cops give tickets for?

    Going over 45 in a potato zone.

  • 0
  • Doctor

    You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.

  • 2
  • Rape

    How do you rape a girl?

    By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!

    Library

    I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.

    Suicide

    85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

    (Teach me your ways, 15%.)

    Russia

    I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.

    Homicide

    I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

    Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"

    Baby

    Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?

    Two wongs don't make a white.

    Son

    Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

    Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

    Son: Mom, I’m blind.

    Mom: Exactly.

    Perv

    What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?

    Alien vs. Predator.