Short jokes
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.