Short jokes
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
What did Rengoku say to his class?
"Set your school ablaze!"
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
What is a Care Bear's favorite job?
Take care of bears.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Why can't the English play chess? Because they lost their queen. And why can't the US play chess? Because they lost their towers.
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.
Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
Explain Bear, girl, you're tripping.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
Why did the Titanic cross the road?
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?
I.C.E. water.