Short jokes

What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.

What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?

A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!

Down syndrome and brownies.

So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.

Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!

Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?

A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: Impatient feminist.

Friend: Impati--

Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.

What is the biggest butt in the world?

The bottom of the ocean.

When you realize the shuttle blew up.

Then you realize you're on the shuttle.

A paraplegic walks into a bar...

It's funny because he can't walk.

Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.

What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?

Finger food.

Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!

What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌

What do you call a racist community? America.

Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.

Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?

Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?

A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.