Short jokes

Short jokes

Bar

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Horse

Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?

Option one: Horses can't speak at all.

Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.

Friend

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Roman

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

Gum

What hurts the most? 😹

A. Breaking up before chewing.

B. Breaking up after chewing.

Marriage

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

Fat

You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.

Cheese

Silly joke! Where’s my natcho? You have it :excuse me it’s nacho cheese 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mama

Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.

Face

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.