Short jokes

Not a joke.

Any girls looking for a steamy hot man?

What is the definition of auto masturbation?

Fellatio.

I left my Avatar at home today.

I never get off on the wrong foot.

How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.

How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

Oops!

Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”

My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

Don't listen.

Hi sisisissisisisisisis.

What did the tree say to the depressed kid?

"Stop hanging around."

What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.

Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?

Option one: Horses can't speak at all.

Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.

150,000$

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"