Short jokes

Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.

Kris is so dumb that his smartwatch went to NIGHT SCHOOL.

Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?

Because they were lost in the BEATS.

Why did the rapper go to the zoo?

To find some WILD BEATS.

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

"Say what you want about the deaf."

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c—

MOO!

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.

What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.

Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.