Short jokes
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
Read my name.
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
Your hairline is so big, it distracts me from your face.