Short jokes

Short jokes

Dog

Why didn't the dog want to play football??

'Cause he was a boxer!

Squat

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

Squirrel

How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?

Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.

Password

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

Kid

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

Handicap

What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.

Orphan

Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?

Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.

God

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

Trash

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

Orphanage

Peter: Curses!

Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Peter: *Crying*

Jacob: Why are you crying?

Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*

Girl

What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"

"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

Friend

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."