Short jokes

Short jokes

Number

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."

Human

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

Goose

U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

Book

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

Basketball

There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...

...Steve Kerr’s team.

Chess

Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

Life

My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?

Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.

Mama

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To eat Bob's arms.

Bob went to hospital and had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Bob.

Idk

"Hey, what does IDK mean?"

"I don't know."

"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."

Mum

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Hippie

How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.

Hand

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."