Short jokes

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?

Coronavirus and toilet paper.

Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.

Me: Mrs., can I read my book?

Teacher: Sure.

Me: *watching my Chromebook*

I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.

Sorry, no adults allowed.

Only 3 per person.

Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.

I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.

Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!

Ads? More like bads.

Saw (DYM 69).

What do you call New York City?

A human zoo.

Why is Bill the bad guy?

Monica wanted to suck dick.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.