Short jokes
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
What is a good night sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk home from school and walk home and walk home from home and walk home and get a good night walk and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from...
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
Just do it.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
"Say what you want about the deaf."
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?
Because there were no more planes.
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.