Short jokes
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
I'm all panic and no disco.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
Q: What is the favorite song of the people who window dived out of the Twin Towers?
A: "Free Fallin'"
"Apple bottom cringe boots with the kek (with the kek) got the whole club looking at Shrek."
That chromosome gon' leave just like your hairline. 😗😮😮
What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.
Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages?
Because they can't add a home page.
If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.
Why did the caretaker of the Twin Towers get sacked?
He left the landing lights on.
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.