Short jokes
Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Roses are red, lilacs are purple, I have a turtle, his name is Squirtle.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!