Short jokes
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
I'm not transphobic. I just want transparency...
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What did the other wave say to the other wave?
"Nothing, they just waved!"
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
Don't free Britney!
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
It's not easy to make good pedophilia jokes, because it's a very touchy subject.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."