Short jokes
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
Is anyone else on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop?
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
I don't trust trees...they look shady.
Spring is here, I got so excited, I wet my plants!
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
Why is there a hole in Uranus?
Eli is hot.