Short jokes
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
What did the water say to the cup?
"Good day!"
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What’s a rapper’s favorite exercise?
Heavy bars.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?