Short jokes
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
U geiy haha lol.
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
My brother
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!
James Arnold: My grandma walked in while I was knife raping my wife.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.