New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere
It ain’t always easy having erectile dysfunction but it sure as hell ain’t hard
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it Leaves and never comes back
There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Today was a bad day, their was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy
Ever heard of the show naked and afraid? thats what i call hide and seek with my uncle.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
Did you here about pillsbery dough boy he died of a yeast infection
What do you call a singing laptop? – A Dell.
A man gats kicked out of police camp after writing “Who’s that Pokémon” next to all of the chalk outlines
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset
my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked “where is your sister”, and i said in line to get crushed.
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
Grandpa: you can’t have phones within 15 feet of the table Me: and you aren’t allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.