What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
Why are tomatoes ๐ the slowest vegetable?
Because they canโt ketchup.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon