Mama Mia’s pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset
Ever heard of the show naked and afraid? thats what i call hide and seek with my uncle.
A man gats kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon" next to all of the chalk outlines
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Itenticle.
Patient: I'm starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
