What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
I don't like the word gun
Whenever I say it people always get triggered
Patient: I'm starting to forget things Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fat people do?
my friend: Chunky dunks
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek? Because he's always spotted
Grandpa: you can't have phones within 15 feet of the table Me: and you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
roses are red violets are blue if you ever feel alone i'm always watching you
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? -- Because it has a million degrees.
hubble just spotted something huge coming out of uranus
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian responds with ”fuck off you won’t bring it back!”
Who needs April fools..
When your whole life is a joke?
Covid 19 stopped mass shooting faster than the Government
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
