Ever heard of the show naked and afraid? thats what i call hide and seek with my uncle.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
What do you call a singing laptop? -- A Dell.
*Titanic was sinking. Passenger: How far are we from land? Captain: Two miles. Passenger: Which direction? Captain: Down.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? When he asked who the best composer was they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Did you here about pillsbery dough boy he died of a yeast infection
If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
Why are the twin towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plain.
What do fish 🐟 take to stay healthy ?
Vitamin Sea.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
What's Thanos' favorite game? Half-life
