Short jokes
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
Hubble just spotted something huge coming out of Uranus.
Walking is just running with extra steps.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What did the math book say to the guidance counselor?
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
I’m going to be scared of diesel.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
I am glass! People see right through me.
I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."