Short jokes

Short jokes

Murder

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.

But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

Rubber

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

  • 8
  • Dog

    I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.

    Onions was a good dog.

    Mozart

    Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

    When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."

  • 5
  • Suicide

    These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.

    Invisibility

    "Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

    "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

  • 4
  • Dog

    That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.

    Pentagon

    The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

    so Trump can't tweet it.

  • 2
  • Sailing

    The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

    Ego

    If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.

    Sun

    Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.

  • 7