Short jokes
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).
Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?
Tamaleto.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.