Short jokes
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.
The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!