Short jokes
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
If you are what you eat, then Iām black.
What's the best song to sing to George Floyd?
"I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
Uhhhh...
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?