Short jokes

Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂

Star Wars jokes:

Qui-Gon Chin, Mace Chindo, Chinbakka, Darth Chinious, Anachin Skywalker.

I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

What did the hairdresser say to the power line?

"Want a power cut?"

Poopoo man.

What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?

We’re wiped out!

Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.

What's a snake's favorite subject?

Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.

My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.

So I threw an orange at her.

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

Why did the pedo cross the road?

To get to the pre-school on the other side.

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

Rules of dark humor.

1. Everything shall be touched.

2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

Christianity.

I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.

If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.

What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?

Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.