Short jokes
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
What’s fat, brown, and has no dad?
Ama