Short jokes

What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?

Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.

In Soviet Russia,

You love Chinese and hate Chinese.

What did the kid say to the toilet?

"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"

What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?

A can o' bull.

Two pedophiles are on a beach.

One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"

Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?

"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"

Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?

Good food, but no atmosphere.

Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.

If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.

Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?

There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?

Because there is a stairway to heaven.

If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?

Why did the frog cross the road?

To show his gang that he had guts.

What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?

A corpse, of course!

Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.

What do big fat male cows have?

Moobs.

There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.

What did they do with his body when he died?

They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.

I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"