Short jokes
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
TikTok
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.