Short jokes

Short jokes

Weight

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Cremation

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

Gun

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

Insult

Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"

The girl says, "Just like your face."

Rose

Roses are red, clovers are green.

I love your legs and what's in between. LOL

Contest

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

Orphan

What do orphans and homework have in common?

Everybody forgets about them.

Orphan

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Girl

Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.

Brain

If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?

Orphan

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

Orange

How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?

By squeezing his way in.

Atom

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

Sister

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

Missile

Just told Putin to get some b*tches.

Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.