Short jokes
I'm a nonbinary trash can.
What do oranges 🍊 sweat?
Juice!
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
You're a joke!
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
Say "lettuce" and spell "cup."
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
I think my penis has facial recognition.
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.