Short jokes
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?
People want donuts.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?
Sticky Minaj.
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
Dababy
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.